Girls And Their Gay Boyfriends

My friend Katie has to go to her Aunt's third wedding this coming Sunday and rather than go alone she has asked me to come along as her "gayboyfriend". As odd as this may sound, this is not a rare occurrence in the gay world. Straight girls (or more appropriately entitled, "hags") like to have their queers accompany them to events like this. This of course is not my first time as the "gayboyfriend". I am a "gayboyfriend" of a professional level. I am good. I am sooo good.

To anyone not associated with gay culture, this whole ordeal might seem a little strange. But if you think about it, it makes perfect sense: If you have a "gayboyfriend" you don't have to worry about looking perfect, because no matter what you wear we're going to love you because you're simply fabulous; You can carry on a conversation with us about everything from menstrual cycles to blowjobs without getting competitive or horny; and we dance a hell of a lot better than any straight guy you'll ever date. In short, we are the perfect date.

True, the "gayboyfriend" role sort of borders on prostitution, but so what? It's a great excuse to dress up in a suit and people-watch.