Me.... Old?

Today I auditioned for the Washington Park Playhouse summer production of Grease (yes- Grease) in Albany, New York. It seems like a pretty sweet gig: four week rehearsal period, six week run, thirty-six performances, housing provided. It would solve my summer job problem as I would be employed from June 12 to August 19.

So I walk into the audition and immediately notice that I am the oldest person in the room (not including the director, choreographer, and near ancient rehearsal pianist). I don't understand... I'm only twenty-five. Okay, so I'll be twenty-six next month- but still! So in the midst of songs from Wicked and Thoroughly Modern Millie and even Rent, I get up and sing "Young and Healthy" from 42nd Street (yes, I realize that 42nd Street isn't quite equal to Grease in musical style- but what can you do?). The only person in the room who enjoyed my selection was the pianist (he informed me later that mine was the only song he recognized all day). I thought to myself... "Self, I'm wasting my time." But then when we did the dance call I danced circles around the other actors (good god, I'm beginning to sound like "Val" from A Chorus Line.) and three times the Choreographer pulled me out to demonstrate the combination for the others. So I began thinking.... "I may have a shot at this. So what if I'm not eighteen? I'm still young! It's a big house! That's what makeup's for!"

Soon came the fateful moment when they were announcing those desired for a call-back... "Eighty-eight"... my number was called. I walked to the monitor and she told me they would like to see me again and that they were considering me for the role of "Vince Fontaine"..... Vince Fontaine?! (For those of you not on a first name basis with the characters from Rydell High, "Vince Fontaine" is the aging-lathario-disk jockey who comes to the Prom, hits on the teenage girls and sings "Hand Jive".

What is it about me? Why am I always cast in roles older than myself? Have I truly passed the point in my career where I can no longer play youth roles? The only problem is, I've never had the chance to play youth roles! I've been cast as "adults" my entire life! In Into The Woods, was I considered for "Jack"? Hell no, I was cast as "The Baker" (though I'm not complaining on that score). In Fame: the musical, was I called back for "Nick"? Or "Goody"? Or "Schlomo"? Certainly not- I was cast as the acting teacher. I've played "Linus" in You're A Good Man Charlie Brown, but that doesn't count because the entire cast was pushing thirty. Even in middle school, I was always cast as the Father or the Uncle or the Priest... always the priest- what is that about? Do I really look that old? Maybe I do. Maybe when I'm thirty I'll hit my stride and suddenly my entire career will be over flowing with offers to play "Grandfather" in regional productions of Ragtime. Oy.

I don't want you to think that I'm complaining because, believe me, I am grateful and flattered whenever I'm considered for any job- that's the life of an actor. But it does bruise the ego occasionally to be seen as nothing but the "old guy" especially when I'm under thirty.

I sat down and spoke to two New York agents once and discussed my dilemma with them and they said it was because my eyes seem wise beyond my years. I was satisfied with that description until I got home and saw the beginnings of crow's feet. Double oy.

But hey, it could be worse. I could be getting no job offers at all. And besides, Angela Lansbury made a career of playing fifty year old women when she was only eighteen (slight exaggeration) so I'm in good company. Just call me the male Angela Lansbury. There are worse ways to go... I could be Ashton Kutcher.